Last week of school isn't going so well for me. Yeah, finals = bleh, but that's not all the reason. There are so many things happening to me right now, and they're like fucking blocks stacked on top of each other and pretty soon it's gonna topple over and maybe that's when I'll finally break. My cold is killing me. I'm getting fevers every single night, and taking pain relievers can only do so much. Two pills every four-six hours... been doing that for four days now. Pretty soon, I'm gonna have to stop, and once I do, the aches are gonna come back. I'm too scared to think about that. Having my period isn't helping me either; it's totally making me more emotional, and shit I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. I was already in a pretty bad mood today, but to make matters worse Joanna found out about my drug addictions. When she pulled me to the side in McDonald's and asked me about it, I thought I was going to have a anxiety attack right there. Too ashamed to look into her eyes; too scared to look anywhere else. Elena, why did you tell her? I'd rather have her know that I used to have a crush on her than that!! Gawd, this is just like pouring lemonade on my open wound from yesterday!! (figuratively since I've stopped cutting, stopped for good I hope) ... It's not your fault though. I should have kept everything to myself. If nobody knew, then Joanna wouldn't have heard from anyone. After all, I've done a good job of keeping it a secret in the beginning of the year. If only I can drink some alcohol to wash everthing away. Too bad my neighbors didn't leave any outside. Jocelyn and her Tarot Cards said that something big was going to happen to me this summer. Maybe that's the big thing, but then again a lot of other 'big' things had happened to me recently. I'm not going to talk about the rest here. Too painfull to type it down, and not even the best painkillers can block that. All I can do is laugh bitterly, knowing that it's only fucking June 3rd. My summer is gonna be swell - that's sarcasm in case you weren't paying any attention. Monica, care to spare me some of your anti-depressants?

Currently singing along to Another Heart Calls.
My journal title is from its lyrics.
It's my current fav song.
Gonna be that way for a while.
At least until I get over my heartbreak.